63. A Silent Message

Friday nights at home were the nights when the beer flowed way too much and way too easily. It was the routine. It was a ritual. It was the way it was and the way it was was the way it WAS. We settled into the weekend as most families do but apparently we felt the need to numb our pain in the process. We watched movies and drank. We had fun. Why shouldn't we? Why wouldn't we? Why couldn't we? We talked and talked and talked until I was the only one listening. Those Friday nights  of listening carried over into the wee hours of Saturday morning. I was a random toy stuck in one of Sean's circles - I was our pet hamster on the wheel - I was Monday thru Sunday. 

One particular Friday night Sean tripped on the mini trampoline that had to be in the center of the living room. As he was walking into the small hallway we said, (from our beer drinking places), "Buddy, are you okay?"

We saw his shoulders shake a little as though he was crying in pain but he didn't make a sound. We both looked at one another, got up to follow him and sat down with him at the end of the hallway in front of his closed bedroom door. We began consoling him at the same time, "Ohhh Buddy! I know that hurt! Sean let me see. Just rub your leg and it'll be okay...sugar honey pie, lemme kiss it!"

For some reason we, (his buzzing parents) began to argue, each of us saying things like: "Don't touch him, he's going to be fine. He doesn't want you to make a big deal out of it. Just let him get up on his own... blah blah blah!" We were in a standing position by now.

As we were arguing Sean stood up. He quietly and very slowly took my hand. He opened his door, escorted me in and closed the door with his father on the other side. Sean was looking at the floor as we stood there, our bodies facing the door. We stood there long enough for me to process what just happened before I said, "I hear you, Buddy. I - hear - you!"


My buzz was gone.