79. May I Have Your Attention

During the summer of 2001, I had time to apply for SSI (Supplemental Security Income) for Sean. After a long evaluation, Sean qualified. The amount was based on my income and it fluctuated if I made more or less each month. With child support and SSI which also provided Medicaid for Sean, I was able to stand on two feet and take care of myself and the children. It wasn't much but it was enough to help me along until I was able to find work.

Meanwhile, I celebrated my 40th birthday in July of 2001. Pat came to help my friends and me celebrate. It was comforting to see her again.

In the early days of learning to live with autism, I approached every beginning, no matter how big or small, with every hope that progress would be made without setbacks. I have always been a dreamer. I eventually accepted that the setbacks were the stepping stones to Sean's progress. Sometimes you just have to step on them twice to make sure you know where you are going!

When Sean began first grade with a new IEP in place and a beautiful new devoted sidekick named Ms. Wright, I expected his tantrums to be less frequent, less intense. Not so fast, there, Dreamer!

During my very early career as a mother, I frequently heard (with regard to behavior), "It often gets worse before it gets better." So, it didn't take long at all before that statement began to ring in my ears day after day. There was progress but it was slow and hard to get to. Sean began to communicate better but it would take awhile to come up with a system that was one step ahead of him when it came to controlling his disruptive master of manipulation behavior. Time out just didn't cut it.

Ms. Wright and I kept a daily journal so I could track any patterns or triggers. I frequently read that Sean did things "for no reason" which just meant that the reason was hard to identify. He was definitely a mystery. He was engaging on a positive and negative level, intensely so. He was one of those "attention seeking" types. When he wanted attention, he got it. When he got it, he kept it - 

for a very long time.