14. Excuses Excuses

So by now, Sean was throwing down like a rock star on a daily basis, ahem, excuse me, I mean, every-other-hourly basis and my marriage was turning into an unwritten country song without my awareness. The distractions of our first summer, the changing of the weather and the holidays in Harlingen were enough to mask the truth.

My friendship with Pat continued to grow. Her daughter, Alyson, Savannah and Sean played together. There was enough room in the house to feel like I was on vacation. We lived in a cramped apartment but I liked it. I was just glad to be in the city.

We did have fun as a family. There were rough patches like in any marriage but we carried on. I began to visit Pat more often. I'd venture to her house in McAllen/Pharr every other weekend, leaving the children with their dad. I'd go to "get a break" from the all out hissy pissy fits Sean was mustering up every single freakin' frackin' day. I was still thinking that because he was two and because we didn't know how to handle him while he was two, that it was a phase. I was sure that any dingity dang-it minute, it would be over. He was approaching three. He just needed to m-a-t-u-r-e, don't you see that? Remember what I previously said about denial? By this time I had it tucked into every nook and cranny around the house. I'd open the fridge and it stared me in the face. So what if there was more and more beer each week? It was cheap in Mexico. My head was so far in the South Padre Island sand that no amount of digging could uncover it. I wanted it there.

Pat's house is a ranch style house with long breezy halls, a spacious living room and a Central Vac that could put your Dyson to shame. I think. The living room leads to the hot tub and pool. There is landscaping and patios on three sides of the house, one with a grill - home to Jack's Ribs. There is a key lime tree all the way to the road which was a BONUS! We would hike to it - seriously, it was sort of far - and we'd pick limes for our limeade. HAHA! Fooled ya! Jack's Margarita's! I loved my visits. I was never made to feel that Sean was a burden but I was beginning to feel he was a burden. I was growing more and more comfortable with making excuses.

Sean's "strong-willed spirit" would soon have another name.